Saturday, February 26, 2011

And I Think I Prefer This to Potty Training

Jacob's dirty diapers usually come with timed regularity. I can almost always count on one within a half an hour of him waking up in the morning. And, I can usually count on another one the moment after I have given up in frustration that I have spent an hour and a half trying to get him to take a nap and he is still bouncing around in bed and calling gleefully at the top of his lungs, "Maaa! Maaaaaaaa!"

Actually, it is kind of nice to know when he is going to need changing. The frustrating part is that it takes me a half an hour to wrestle him down to actually do the deed. He runs behind furniture, crawls under his bed, and when I finally get him pinned on the floor, he twists in such a manner that I know if I actually remove the diaper, there will be a bigger mess on the floor for me to clean up.

So, I was utterly shocked and amazed when he came to me the other day, smelling oh so pleasant, and pointed at his diaper and wanted me to change him.

Finally, finally! he was not going to fight me on the changing of the diaper! I was as exuberant as one can be when about to change a diaper.

I covered my nose with the front of my shirt, laid him down, opened up the dreadfulness, and found some unexpected surprises.

There were two lime green mini porcupine balls and one of Luke's "rocks" to his dragon fortress all entrenched in the masses of filth and little bits of undigested olives.

For one alarming second I thought that the boy had somehow swallowed all of these balls and lived to tell about it. It then dawned on me that there was no way he could have swallowed the fortress rock when he couldn't even fit the thing in his mouth and that in actuality, the boy had entered the realm of finding it fun to play with his dirty diaper and stuck the objects into his cake-like mess through the sagging leg hole of his bum cover.

I gagged as I tried to salvage the fortress rock by plucking it out, wiping it down thoroughly, and disinfecting it with chemical spray. The porcupine balls simply could not be saved and I left them in the depths. Luke was heart broken that I wouldn't save them from such a fate.

Later that night after dinner, I tossed Chris the rock ball and let him roll it around it in his hands for a minute before I took it, put it in his shirt pocket, and patting it said, "Guess what I did today?"


Michelle said...

lol. love it.

D. said...

Well, I would have loved to see Chris when you told the story! Now that would have been the fun part!