Irrational-Sensibility

Like most people, I have a multi-faceted personality. From what I've observed, this is fairly normal...just some people get better traits than others. For instance, I got forgetfulness and social inadequacy, while my younger sister got likable and charming. What can I say? It's really just how the dice roll for the most part.

Though a single trait may be more dominant at one time or another, in general, they all keep each other pretty well balanced. However, every once in a while, personality traits within the same person clash horribly and create some sort of malformed offspring which really doesn't have a place within the carefully balanced human...kind of like a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. It tries to be lovely and delicious, but is more or less just sort of overwhelming and gross .

In my case, irrationality and sensibility created just such a vagabond that has threatened my mental health more than once. I like to call this trait Irrational-sensibility...great name huh?

Irrational-sensibility is a characteristic that is sort of grotesque and it hits me over the head more times than I can count in a day and usually involves food...like the time it made sense to eat a whole coconut cream pie by myself. And the time it made sense to eat 18 out of the 24 cookies that I baked for other people. You see, it makes me do things that are irrational, but that I can twist into being uber sensible in the moment.

The I-S came upon me silently this morning when I was trying to be a good mother and feed my children breakfast.

I ended up feeding them a half a pan of brownies.

I KNOW.

Let me explain.

If I were gifted the single trait of irrationality, this morning it might have cheerfully said, "Feed your children brownies for breakfast." Hopefully you see how that's irrational. Irrational, but oddly free of any guilt because there is no sensibility to go along with it.

Whereas, the single trait of sensibility might have said something along the lines of,"Feed your children oatmeal. Children need a wholesome breakfast to start their day off right and nourish their growing bodies." See how that's sensible?

BUT, I don't have either of these traits. I have irrational-sensibility. Which sort of morphs the two into something that makes sense in my head, but is in all respects irresponsible...like what I did this morning.

See if you can follow the thought process.

"My children and I need to eat breakfast. I want brownies for breakfast. I'm allowed to eat brownies since I'm an adult and am fully capable of such decisions. But, my children will want brownies too and that's not a wholesome breakfast for children. I should feed them oatmeal. But, they will be upset if I get brownies and they don't get brownies. So, it makes sense that we should all eat oatmeal. I'm a good mom. I am happy."

And just as I was pulling down the oatmeal, my stupid personality swooped in and turned a good thing into this:

"Eating oatmeal makes me happy. Eating brownies makes me happier than eating oatmeal. I want to be happy so that I can be a good mom. I want my kids to be happy too. I should give my kids brownies so that they will be happier than if they ate oatmeal. So, it makes sense that we will all be happy and I will be a good mom if we have brownies for breakfast."

And that's what I did. See how it makes sense and is irrational at the same time...we all get brownies for breakfast, so we are all happy (sensible), but we all ate brownies for breakfast (irrational).

Ugh.

Any good ideas on forming new personality traits?