Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Double, Double Toil and Trouble; the House Will Burn, the Toilet Bubble

Eldest child has been in a weird mischievous funk.

For instance, in the span of the last two weeks he’s taken to licking things---the carpet, the walls, the baby’s head.


The baby's head.

I’m talking full on droolage all over little brother’s slightly misshapen noggin. Not that it matters much I guess, since the baby’s always wet from his unending string of spittle, but still…it’s unnerving, you know.

Like he’s tasting him.

Now, I’m fully aware that Jake’s head looks slightly like a giant lollipop on a stick, but I’d still rather not have my three-year-old trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center.

In other news, the mysterious funk that has encapsulated my son has also put him on the track to having “Felony Arson” attached to his name forevermore. About the time the licking weirdness began, I started finding a variety of highly flammable objects in my oven --- a kitchen towel, a pie tin full of soft plastic baby toys, the LINT from my dryer screen. Can you say FLAMING. BALL. OF. DEATH? Fortunately, I haven’t had occasion to use the oven because my gourmet cereal dinner doesn’t involve any actual cooking.

And to top it all off, what mischievous child is void of toilet curiosity?

Luke’s had a little fascination with trying to see how much TP will actually go down the toilet all at once. The other day I overheard him in the bathroom cheering, “C’mon! Go down! C’mon! Go down!” I ran in and found him staring down into a bowl brimming with an entire roll of unrolled toilet paper.

On separate occasions I’ve also had to fish out an entire roll of TP still on the roll, his underwear, and a hand towel from the depths of toilet-dom. Who knows what might have actually made it through? The baby does happen to be missing a conspicuous amount of pacifiers. Maybe he'll do me a favor and flush the dirty laundry down the toilet.


I think I need a job transfer.


G'pa H said...

Now you understand why Chris Toffer likes to go to work each day.

Missionary Mom said...

It sure does my heart good to hear about the escapades of your first born! Brings back such fond memories! And I am not just talking about the early years. I think I recall something about real fires in alley behind the restaurant - just think what you have to look forward to!
Love you, Aunt DeeAnn

The Jeffery Family said...

Fun to read your blog! I think our little ones know that sometimes the never ending laundry and dish wars we wage can get boring, so they do things like this to spice up our lives.

Amy said...

Oh yeah, I have totally been fishing for tp before. Fun times. I'm tellin ya, with three kids, I am a very busy woman. Totally outnumbered.

Thanks for taking the time to comment so kindly on my blog. It is uplifting to me to know that there others feeling many of the same feelings. I am grateful for other awesome women out there.