Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lemonade

When life hands me lemons, I like to stare life boldly in the eye and take a nice big tangy bite out my lemon as if to say in an outrageous French accent, Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries…now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. Then, when life acknowledges defeat and turns its back on me, I hit life squarely in the back of the head with my mangled lemon and whistle nonchalantly whilst avoiding its direct gaze.

Today’s lemon: my maimed phone. Granted, life didn’t hand me the phone, Luke did, but my insults don’t seem to have the same effect on him.


Psshh. Is that all you’ve got life? I laugh in your general direction—merely a flesh wound. It still rings, I can still talk to people (if I use the speaker phone). Sure, I can’t tell who’s calling or if I have any messages. And I can’t access anything. It’s like being in the 1980s all over again. And who doesn’t love the 80s? Big hair rock ballads…need I say more?

And so I scoff, life. I scoff at your lemons and I chew them with vigor—and a little bit of gagging and chin drool.

But do me a favor----don’t hand me anymore till I run to the store and get some sugar.

PS--10 points to anyone who can name the movie...points are pretty much worthless, but whatever makes you feel better.

5 comments:

ashjenks said...

Monty Python's In Search of the Holy Grail. Really Cuz, at least make poit earning a challenge. Guess who I saw today! Kelly! Course I didn't get to talk to her. But now I know where she is. did you find Devon's blog yet? It is linked at ours. Anyway, Sorry you missed the fair, but here is an ode to the fair intercom talker (is that what their called) Comfeffse Gessft ssodfgme desdflgicidfdously tchchchchasty gcsreat wonderful wa wa wa wa deaflegcsdtable chsocglatae dsdfipped sftrawberries on a sstidfcks! Translation: Come Get some deliciously tasty, great, wonderful, delectable choclate dipped strawberries on a stick!

erin j bailey said...

Like I said...points are worth nothing so there's really no incentive for me to make it that challenging. But 10 points to you cuz.

Genypher said...

I have laughed at live recently for pretty close to the same reason. My phone didn't break, it was stolen. I understand the feeling of the 80's and as wonderful of a decade as it was... (I have pictures that would scare you!)... I enjoy the year 2008, with all of the annoying, and completely pointless gadgets we have. I felt naked with out my phone!

Lisa said...

Oh, Erin, I have to say it again: You sure know how to make me laugh!

LauraB said...

MONTY PYTHON!

you make me laugh