Saturday, September 20, 2008

Your Poop Bag is SO CUTE!

I noticed a couple of women outside walking today. One of the women was walking a large dog and they seemed to be having a friendly, animated conversation. I normally wouldn’t have given much thought to such a scene except for one little detail that I can’t get out of my head.

As I watched my eyes went to the woman with the dog. She was gesturing dynamically as she was speaking—one hand wrapped up in the dog leash, the other flailing a white plastic bag full of—um—poop.


(Now, don’t get all huffy on me just yet.)

(I’m not OPPOSED to people picking up their dog’s odorous droppings. In fact, I’m sure if I think about it long enough that I will be quite ECSTATIC that I don’t have to STEP IN it, or SMELL it, or SEE it.)


THE THING IS, I was just curious if she was AWARE she was waving around a giant bag of POOP??

AND---did her friend observe the foulness that was swinging closer with every enthusiastic statement??

I watched in wonderment and yet, neither of them seemed to acknowledge the stench encased in a thin layer of plastic. They just kept talking like it was a NORMAL thing for people to have bags of poop around their wrists.


I mean its POOP for heaven’s sake! POOP!


And she was WAVING. IT. AROUND.


NONCHALANTLY.


Like she was carrying something UNOBTRUSIVE. Like a water bottle. Or a grenade.


Call me a stick-in-the-mud, but I get appropriately embarrassed when I carry poop around. I don’t FLAUNT my bags of poop. No siree.


Brandishing sizable bags of poop---now that’s just downright boastful.

3 comments:

Amanda Edwards said...

You and I already talked about this but I am one of THOSE people who have to pick up their dogs odorous droppings. However, it never ceases to amaze me how many owners are out there that seem to be above such a behavior. And to those people, Thanks, you owe me a new pair of shoes.

Rachel said...

so I just reread that you needed feedback by sept. 30th.....so this isn't really helpful that i was going to suggest you submit the dog poop one.....i also just read it to my mom and justin and my mom compared you to dave barry....you are hilarious!! i really think you could have some of these published....you are truly my SB SUPERHERO

Brit said...

I know this is a really old post but I was laughing so hard when I read it!