The Art of De-Chunking

Trust me, it’s a useful topic. You see, my little Gooba has this strong aversion to chunks in foods that are supposed to be mostly creamy/ smooth-ish. You know the stuff: yogurt, mashed potatoes, peanut butter, jam. Heaven forbid he ever has to go to a Mormon potluck. The green chunky jello would do him in completely.

Yep, Gooba is a chunk snob. On most days there has to be a significant amount of chunky removal on my part. For instance, Gooba loves yogurt…all kinds of yogurt, BUT it has to be chunk free. I used to think if I could just get him to eat a couple of chunks, he would learn to like it and I wouldn’t have to bother picking out all the fruit pieces. I would sneak in a small chunk and watch with bated breath to see if he noticed. Two seconds later he was drooling with a horror-stricken look calling out, “Chunky! Chunky!” as the culprit slathered down his chin. He would then look at me very seriously, brows furrowed, and say, “Mie no wanit. Mie no wan chunkies”.

So, in case any of you out there have a chunk snob like I do, let me share a little wisdom I’ve picked up in the art of dechunking.

• First, identify the chunky or chunkies. Be careful, it could be miniscule, but in the eyes of a chunk snob, it still counts.

• Second, remove said chunky. This takes precision, accuracy, and a lot of practice. If you remove too much of the surrounding matter with the chunky you could end up with a quarter of what you started with. If you remove too little, you'll have a very mad toddler.
  

• Third, reuse or recycle said chunky. If you like chunkies, then by all means eat it. If you are overly stimulated by texture like your spawn, then find another use. Feed it to the dog. Use it as under-the-table art. If it happens to be fruit, freeze all removed fruit chunkies in a container until you have enough to make a smoothie out of the mushy stuff. Most of all, be creative. It helps lessen the weight of knowing you are a genuine de-chunker.