Little Moments

I held Luke’s small hand this morning as we walked up the stairs together. It’s not an uncommon gesture in our home, but today was different.

Today, I looked down.

Today, I looked at that little fist wrapped in my hand and I realized I was holding time. I was holding in my hand a moment that would never be again. “He’s growing too fast; getting too big”, I thought. And I found myself torn between mourning the baby I’m losing simply because time must continue to trudge onward and being awe struck at the person my little man is becoming. He’s changing every day and that is as heart-wrenching as it is electrifying. Both terrifying and exhilarating, like a roller-coaster ride you wish would stop and keep going at the same time.

And then, all too quickly, we finished our upward climb and he let go.